Making Deposits: Significant Other
by Adam McPike
Last month I brought you my making deposits series. This month let us talk about making deposits in your significant other’s account. Whether it is your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend etc.
Some people at this point are saying hold on a minute Adam. Why are you talking to me about making deposits into your significant others account? Didn’t your marriage go south? Yes, it did, and that is why I am here to talk to you about this topic. This was one of the major issues throughout my marriage (not the only one but a major one). I can speak on this topic because I know how it can affect a relationship, and after a lot of self-reflection and a good mentor, I realized I was not making these deposits in my significant others account as frequent as I should have been and vice versa.
Make adult time a priority
These deposits and withdrawals are the most important and if this relationship account is left unattended it will be overdrawn and a lot of “bounced checks “will be floating out there. When you have found your ride or die person in life this account needs to be protected and cherished as the most important account you will ever have. Nothing can come in between this account not even your children. GASP! What do you mean? My children are my world. I hear this a lot. Children are a blessing from God and my two will always be my greatest accomplishment on this earth. During my relationship, the kids came first in everything. If you do not step back from time to time and realize mom and dad, have to have time alone together there will be a wedge driven between the two of you. This wedge will only continue to grow as time goes on unless you make each other a priority. Side bar I am in no way telling you to leave your kids unattended or unsupervised. Get a babysitter for crying out loud.
How do you make these deposits?
I have found many of the couples I have spoken to have something in common they like to do together. Going to the club and partying or going to huge social events where you spend more time apart socializing does not count. This needs to be something you two do together to get away and reconnect. My mentor told me he and his wife make it a priority to go to their local coffee shop at least once a month grab a cup of coffee or tea and just reconnect (this means leaving the phones in the car). They are only gone for 1 hour, but he said that 1 hour has made the difference in their relationship many months. One hour and $5 do not tell me you cannot do it. Some do bible studies together every morning, some go shoot guns, some workout you get the point here. Find something positive that you both can do together to reconnect and recharge. Send simple texts during the day. A simple kiss emoji saying I am thinking about you goes a long way. In a day and time with so much technology at our fingertips, we can get creative about how we communicate with our significant others.
The School of Man has put me around men that are great examples of this too. Some are struggling with this and we are all here to hold each other accountable and help anyway we can. No one looks down on you if you have to miss a workout or event for your family. We all understand if it were not for our family, we probably would not be where we are today.
Let’s make those deposits for the long term investment of our families a priority not only for our significant others but for our kids. Kids want happy mothers and fathers and good examples of solids relationships they can pattern their lives after.