Ep. 18: The Beggars Bowl

Today we’re talking about an unhealthy addiction. You probably don’t even think that this is an addiction, but it’s one that plagues a lot of healthy, alpha men. Cole first sets the tone by telling a story about The Beggars Bowl, demonstrating the human addiction to validation.

Seeking validation is like a drug, and it’s one that Cole has struggled with. He explains moments in his life when he was so unhealthily tethered to others’ validation, and provides advice and how you can get away from thinking like this. A big part of it is always being aware of your own purpose.

On this episode of School of Man:

  • Starting the story of The Beggars Bowl.
  • The king continuing to give to the beggar, but the bowl never becoming full.
  • How Cole, and all of us, have sometimes gotten fulfillment and achievement totally backwards.
  • Getting crushed when those you look up to don’t give validation.
  • A moment when Cole started crying because he was so addicted to validation.
  • Why seeking validation is like being a drug addict.
  • When Cole got tired of living his life for someone else.
  • Exploiting the addiction to validation in the healthiest sense.
  • Why focusing on fulfillment will get you to begin achieving.
  • Debt as another artform of slavery.
  • Rebuilding yourself from the massive amount of conditioning that has been placed upon you.
  • Things happening to you versus things happening for you.
  • What the results were when Cole started putting purpose behind everything he did.
  • “Energy vampires” and how to avoid becoming one.
  • A summary of five steps to take to stop seeking validation from others.
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